Archive for April, 2010

I need your help…

Posted in Cooking on 27 April, 2010 by juniper76

I need to make a cake to take to work for my birthday.  It will be my exception to the “no refined sugars” rule, but the fewer sugars the better.  However, I want to make something that will really impress, so I don’t want to sacrifice flavour to minimise the sugars.

Yep, I want to have my cake and eat it too!  ;)

I don’t cook sweets very often, so I’m looking for some help to find the right recipe.  If you know of something that an average-skilled cook can make, that will impress and is a little out of the ordinary I’d love for you to point me in the right direction!

sounds of silence…

Posted in General, Infertility on 27 April, 2010 by juniper76

I’ve been slack.

Well, not precisely slack.  I’ve got things to say, but I’m so tightly wound at the moment that I’m finding I don’t know what to write when I get here.  I have a massive jumble of thoughts, but no words to share.

I’ll stick to the simple things.

We’re almost out of chocolate.  Yep, it has lasted this long.  I have 6 speckled easter eggs (chocolate centre with a candy shell) sitting on my desk.  I’d eat them, but their fairly horrible, and life’s too short for bad chocolate…  We still have some of the unbelievably delicious rocky road in the fridge though.  I’m trying to make it last as long as I can.  ;)

If anyone was stalking my chart for the last two weeks, you’d have seen some very pretty temps.  Very pretty, right up until they came crashing down yesterday and today.  Which brings me to CD1 and my favourite “aunt” showing up to (literally) be a pain in the butt…  Well, not so much the “butt”, but that general area.  You know what I mean…

Which means, we’re officially back on the IVF rollercoaster for attempt IVF#5.

How did it come to this?

And why am I so damned depressed about trying again?  Is this self-preservation?  Or am I just reaching the end of my TTC tether?

I have to call the doctor’s office tomorrow and let them know that AF showed up.  I’m really hoping they don’t try to say that tomorrow is CD1 since she arrived after their office hours.  I’m supposed to go in for a suppression check on CD4, which is Friday if today is CD1, Saturday if they count from tomorrow.  I don’t know if they do monitoring on Saturday since this is my first cycle with this doctor, and since it’s a long weekend I really don’t want to wait until Tuesday.  An extra 4 days on Synarel just because AF showed up after 4pm just doesn’t seem fair to me.  I’ve had a headache since Friday as it is, and, since I’m not pg, I can only guess this nausea is courtesy of the Synarel too?

I really hate this right now.  I know I should be grateful that we have the opportunity to try again while we still have the money, but I hate that we’re doing it.

I’m also dreading the 2dt V 5dt argument that I know will happen after ER.  My new doctor wants to do a 2dt.  I can’t bear the thought of going through the 2ww after a 2dt wondering if the embryos arrested at day 3 like last time.  I’m just hoping we get a few more eggs and embryos this time so we have a stronger place from which to argue.  If all else fails, I’ll fall back to a “my body, my decision” argument.

So, we’re doing the long down-reg protocol again this time.  I’d have prefered to do the antagonist protocol again or try a flare protocol, but our doctor wanted to do this.  He seems to be more interested in tailoring it to my needs than our previous doctor (who seemed to have decided I fit into a certain mould, no matter what), so he gets one chance with it.  Besides, when he said long protocol + 2dt, I decided I was only ready to fight him on one of those and that the transfer day was more important.

He’s increasing my Puregon dose to 450iu this time.  My previous doctor wasn’t willing to go above 325iu.  Last time we increased the dose it didn’t increase the number of eggs retrieved, but I’m still hoping this increase will make a difference.  He has also said we’ll do more monitoring which I do find somewhat reassuring.

Lastly, he said we’d be throwing everything plus the kitchen sink at the luteal support.  He mentioned adding both aspirin and steroids to my protocol following transfer.  I’m not sure how to handle the weight gain risks associated with the steroids, so, if anyone’s got any suggestions please share them.  (And before you say anything about chocolate, I’ll be avoiding all refined sugars from when I start stims.)

There’s more to be said, but that will do for now.  If AF keeps me up all night (which it’s looking like at this stage – ouch!) I’ll try to finally post the pictures I’ve uploaded from my sister’s wedding.  It’s only been 2 months since she was married, so I’m barely scratching the procrastination surface…  ;)

Oh, and one last thing, my BFF’s new son will be two weeks old tomorrow.  When we visited her in hospital DH & I were left alone with him not once, but twice.  I was both terrified (of something going wrong) and touched at the same time.  My BFF has always been somewhat over-protective of their daughter, so to be left alone with her newborn son for even a few minutes  just blew me away.

can there ever be too much chocolate?

Posted in General on 4 April, 2010 by juniper76

If so, then I think the contents of our fridge might qualify.  We were quite good to begin with.  We bought three small packets of small eggs.

Then I ordered some rocky road easter eggs (insert drooling emoticon here).

Then, since the postage costs so much, we also ordered some normal rocky road with the rocky road eggs to make it worth the expense.

Then on Thursday we went to buy some toys for the kids we are seeing this weekend… and somehow left the store with a massive pile of chocolate eggs as well.

Then we were given some eggs as a gift today.

Whenever I open the fridge, what I first notice is that half of the top shelf is taken up by chocolate!  Now, if, say, the other half of the shelf were full of vegetables or something remotely healthy, that might not be so bad.  But instead, the fridge is mostly empty since we haven’t done any regular grocery shopping in a week.

I’d take a photo, but the fridge is in need of a clean (probably a good opportunity for that now all things considered?).  I have, however, finally added an Easter photo to the last post.  Sorry, it took a while to come up with a photo I liked.  There’s not many flat surfaces with good lighting and a presentable background in our house…

Actually, the lighting in this house is pretty awful all round.  Would you believe they put fluorescent lights on the walls (not even the ceilings – the walls!) in the bedrooms?  What were they thinking?!?  One of these days we’ll get someone in to replace all the lights…  Bedrooms, kitchen, everything – it’s all gotta go!!

Happy Easter!

Posted in General on 2 April, 2010 by juniper76

Whether this weekend, for you, is about church, friends and family or copious quantities of chocolate, I hope you all have a happy and safe Easter.  :)

so far, so good…

Posted in Infertility on 1 April, 2010 by juniper76

Well, I’m pleased to report that I have gone almost 3 days without any bleeding!  Yay!!  It seems I just need to complain about something happening for it to stop!  And vice versa – it’s normally when I complain that O is late that my BBT finally jumps up.

But I’ll try to keep the complaining to a minimum for your sake.  Or maybe I should start complaining more about not having a child yet?  Do you think that’s the cure I’m looking for?

So, after an absolutely horrendous day yesterday, I’m really looking forward to this long weekend!  Only 1 hour of work to go.  Yes, that’s right, I’m writing this at work.  They owe me for the stress they caused yesterday.  I’m not going to go into details, but someone pissed me off by refusing to make a phone call and then suggesting I don’t contribute to this office.  The day went from bad to worse and ended with me walking 1/3 of the way home (3km) before my husband finally picked me up.

I was still pretty upset today (ie on the verge of tears), but my mood has gradually improved as the day has gone by.  Surprisingly, the Hot Cross Buns one of our managers brought in helped cheer me up a bit (he said he likes to call them “Cold Happy Buns” which also helped by making me laugh).  He hasn’t been working here long, but he won me over today.