Archive for March, 2010

confusion reigns supreme…

Posted in Infertility on 28 March, 2010 by juniper76

I’ve had enough of bleeding.  Really.  I’m over it!

After the lap, I bled for 6 days, which fell neatly into the 3-7 days I was told to expect.  Then I had 4 days of thinking it was all over.  4 days, during which I could enjoy a newfound freedom…

Then I started bleeding again.  Since I had cramps to go with it, I thought it was AF.  However, a few things didn’t add up

  1. I wasn’t expecting AF for at least another week.
  2. My BBT was still high, and climbing.
  3. It looked more like blood than AF.

At the time, I just assumed things were out of whack because of the surgery and that next cycle would be more normal.  I even told our new FS that I had my period when we saw him.

So, after 5 days (the normal length of my AF), the bleeding eased up and I thought I could finally get back to normal.  How wrong I was…

The next night the real AF arrived.  Imagine my confusion when I thought she’d been there for almost a week already, only to find out it was an imposter!

So, tomorrow is CD5.  Hopefully.  I really don’t want to start the count again.  I’ve bled 15 out of the last 19 days and I can’t wait for it to stop!  I really hope this doesn’t end up being a long AF…

I’ve got to admit, the last few days, I’ve been feeling the need for a holiday much more keenly than usual.  It’s been over a year since DH & I last went on a holiday together and, after all we’ve been through since then, I want to go somewhere and just enjoy each other’s company for a while.

the verdict…

Posted in Infertility on 23 March, 2010 by juniper76

We had our follow-up appointment today with our FS.  He said my endometriosis is stage III (according to him “significant stage III”, whatever that means) and he is confident that, now that he has removed most of it, he can get us pregnant before the end of the year.  He showed us the pathology report for the 5 pieces of tissue they sent for testing and the two largest pieces were 35mm in size!!

His intention is for us to do another IVF after I’ve given my body some time to heal.  I mentioned the possibility of using our last frozen embryo first.  I’ve been considering that because I really don’t think it’ll make it to transfer and I feel like we’re wasting money paying for the storage but I have to give it a chance.  Assuming we did a natural FET again, we could sneak in some TI so that the cycle wouldn’t be a complete waste if we didn’t get to transfer.

So, we go back in 4 weeks and hopefully by then he’ll have finally reviewed our IVF notes from our old doctor.  You’d think, being just metres down the hall, that he’d have gotten a copy by now…  That gives DH & I 4 weeks to decide what we want to do next.  I want to hear this doctor’s take on our past cycles and his suggestions for the next, but I’d also like a chance to conceive on our own if he thinks that’s possible.

Plus money will be an issue thanks to our illustrious PM reneging on his election promise (to preserve the Medicare Safety Net as it was) and pretty much trebling the out-of-pocket cost, but that’s a rant that can wait for this year’s election to be called.

what now?

Posted in Infertility on 15 March, 2010 by juniper76

Today I’m really upset about where we’re at.  I can’t help but wonder what would be if a doctor had taken my pain seriously earlier in my life.  And I’m so angry that our four IVF cycles were probably doomed to fail from the beginning because our old FS wouldn’t consider the endo angle.  I remember asking him if we should investigate endo at the beginning of our second IVF but at the time he said there was no point as he wouldn’t change our treatment protocol if he found it.  I really hope our new FS has let him know how wrong he was…

So, now I have a week to wait for our follow up appointment with the new FS.  What will he tell us?  Am I correct in thinking we’re dealing with Stage IV?  Is more IVF our only option or do we have a chance at conceiving on our own now that he’s removed what he could?  What does it all mean?

And while we’re at it, what the hell is going on with this cycle?  I know the lap (right around my normal O time) will have screwed it up, but I still wish I knew what was going on…

laparoscopy…

Posted in Infertility on 11 March, 2010 by juniper76

Yesterday was the big day – my first laparoscopy.

My SIL drove me in (DH had work commitments he couldn’t get out of) and we chatted while I waited to be admitted.  When it was finally time to say goodbye, I was taken in to get changed into the usual hospital chic.  This time there were anti-embolism stockings involved though.  And they ended up being a bit of a drama.  I’m tall and overweight, so the first pair the admitting nurse put on me were too small but she didn’t have any larger ones close to hand.  It was an hour later that she finally tracked some down and changed me into a bigger pair.

While I was waiting I got to watch some daytime TV – Ellen, The View and Days of our Lives.  Daytime TV is the best reason to go to work.  Funnily enough, The View had a segment on the history of the menstrual cycle.  It may have been more interesting if I could hear it better, but the TV was at the other end of the room.

Not long after Days of Our Lives finished, it was my turn to head into the theatre.  First they took me around the corner, got me onto a gurney and then confirmed who I was and what I was there for.  Then, as an orderley disappeared to take my bag up to the ward, I was wheeled through to the theatre’s waiting bay.  It was weird being wheeled through when I was perfectly capable of walking…

They left me sitting in the waiting bay for some time, while they finished setting up in the theatre.  At first I was watching the activity in the theatre (what little I could see of it), but then one of the people in there noticed me watching and shut the blinds.  I was slightly offended.  From that point I concentrated on wondering what the electrical wire attached to the door frame was for…

My Dr came out at one point to say hello, check my wrist band again and to offer some well-rehearsed words of encouragement.  A nurse came in a little later to check on me too.  Her name was Margaret.  I mention this only because she said “My name is Margaret, but I don’t expect you to remember that”.  For the record, she was lovely (for the entire 15 seconds I was talking to her).

Then it was time and they wheeled me through the last set of doors.  I had to… I think the word he used was “shimmy”… over to the table, then my left arm was strapped to the table and my right arm was offered up to the anaesthetist.  When he started the drugs, there was a brief sensation of cold and then there was nothing…

I think I was in there for a bit over an hour.  I woke up in recovery and then I woke up in recovery and then I woke up in recovery again (just for good measure).  I was pretty out of it.  By the time I finally looked at a clock, the time was 5.20pm and then I went back to sleep.  I’d been called away from the daytime TV at around 2.45pm.

I snuck a look at my chart this morning and apparently they gave me morphine the first time I woke up.  I had some nice dreams about pretty stars for most of the evening.  Picture one of those executive desktop toys with the shifting sand in the liquid.  That’s what the stars were doing when I closed my eyes – shifting like the sand in one of those toys.  Softly shimmering, shifting stars…

They wheeled me up to the ward around 6pm and DH magically appeared not long after.  He sat with me until 7.30pm while I slept and then left me in the capable hands of my nurse.  That first nurse (I think her name was Liz) was the nicest one I had on the ward.  The night one was nice enough but didn’t do much and the one this morning was downright grumpy.  Liz brought me jelly cups and didn’t laugh when I thought the apple juice was jelly too.  Did I mention I was all drugged up?

The wound in my belly button sprung a leak  after DH left, so Liz got a dressing for me and a clean gown.  I think that was in between the 2 jelly cups, but time isn’t linear in my memories of last night so who knows…?

Anyway, I finally went to sleep and slept through to 2am.  I dozed a bit between 2am and 3am before deciding to ask the nurse for some more pain meds and to turn the a/c down as I was sweating up a storm in the stockings.  After that I slept through to 5.30am.

My doctor turned up at around 6.30am to let me know how we did yesterday.  It was one of those stereotypical 1 minute visits.  He told me that he had found and removed endometriosis (“quite a lot” was the very technical term he used to describe how much).  He said there was a lot on my right ovary and a lot on my bowel.  And then he said to make an appointment to see him in the next 1-2 weeks.

So, diagnosis confirmed – endometriosis.  I guess that takes us out of the unexplained infertility category now?

And I’d just like to add a big fat “Thanks For Nothing” to all the GP’s down the years who have ignored my complaints of period pain.  I’d also like to offer the same gesture to our old FS who refused to investigate the possiblity of endometriosis when I asked him about it 12 months ago and 12 months before that.

My cat also wishes to add her disdain.  (She’s lying stretched out on the floor behind me while I type.  For once she’s not under the chair, where I inevitably roll the castors over her tail.)

Anyway, it’s after 8pm, I’m tired and I’ve taken my first dose of Panadeine Forte since the one at 3am and I’m going to bed…

bleh…

Posted in General, Infertility on 5 March, 2010 by juniper76

Yeah, that’s all I’ve got right now – bleh…

I finally called the hospital on Wednesday.  By the end of it I was ready to tear my hair out!  First we got home a little late, so it was just after 5pm when I phoned.  Then, having connected to the number, I was told all the operators were busy.  About 10 mins later I was put through to someone who seemed to be confused about what I wanted.  When I said the pre-admission booklet said to call, she said, “Okay”, and then transferred me… back to the end of the queue!!

Another 10 mins later and I’m back talking to the same woman.  This time I was prepared though!

Is this the Pre-Admission Centre.

No, this is the switchboard.

Okay, I ended up here before after waiting in the queue and was transferred back to the end of the queue.  Now I’m here again.

Have you been to this hospital before?

No, and so far I’m not impressed. (I was getting cranky by now; I’d been on the phone for almost half an hour.)

Let me see if I can help you.

And off she goes, presumably to find out if she can access the right system or something…

Thankfully she could help, so I gave her all of my details and was told that a member of the clinical staff may or may not call.

Other than that, there’s not much going on.

I had an email from my Mum this afternoon asking what hospital I was going to and whether I wanted her to drive up and wait with me.  I’m guessing Dad told her that my MIL is taking me to the hospital.  Mum always feels insecure about the idea of my MIL replacing her because we get on well and tends to respond by acting like a human wedge.  The thing is, my MIL lives a lot closer (20 mins vs 60 mins) and is less… how do I put this diplomatically?… worried about the cost of petrol.  So, I’ve said I’ve got the hospital trip covered, but if I need help when I’m home afterward I’ll call them.

That’s about as exciting as it gets.  It’s raining (and pouring, but the old man’s not snoring) and after 3pm on Friday afternoon.  I’m ready for the weekend.  Can it start now please?

queen of procrastination…

Posted in General, Infertility on 3 March, 2010 by juniper76

Nope, still haven’t downloaded the photos from the cameras.  At this stage it’s not going to happen until the weekend, or possibly after my lap.

I also haven’t called the hospital’s Pre-Admission Centre.  I was supposed to do that a week ago (two weeks before admission), but put it off a couple of days because I was in pain and cranky (thanks to AF).  And then I forgot a couple of times.  And on Monday I didn’t hear my alarm.

But yesterday was the first time that it wasn’t my fault.  We got home later than I expected, but I wasn’t worried because the booklet says the Centre is open from 8am to 7.45pm.  So I sat down with the phone at 6.05pm, feeling quite proud of myself; I’d finally remember with more than 90 minutes to spare!  I dialled, it rang and then I got the message saying their opening hours are until 6pm.  You may have heard the scream from your homes?  Sorry if I woke you up…

Now my husband is suggesting he’ll pick me up from work at 6pm today.  I think my head may explode if I don’t get home in time to call them tonight, so I hope he was joking.