Archive for February, 2010

home sweet home…

Posted in General, Infertility on 25 February, 2010 by juniper76

Well, we made it safely home on Monday!  We drove the whole 800km on Monday and got home at around 11pm (almost 12 hours after departing thanks to some detours).  It was a slow trip.

I’ve been home the last 3 days with AF for company.  I had some spotting on Monday morning, but thankfully she waited until Tuesday to arrive properly.  Now I’m just counting down to my lap in just under 2 weeks…

I haven’t downloaded any photos from the cameras yet (not even sure where DH put the cameras when he unpacked).  When I get that done I’ll upload some here.  But the short version of the story is that my sister looked gorgeous on her wedding day and everything went off without a hitch.  She and her new husband are now happily sunning themselves on a beach in Fiji!

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live from Sydney…

Posted in General on 19 February, 2010 by juniper76

Day 7 in Sydney and so far so good…

I arrived in Sydney in the middle of a storm, which made getting to my sister’s house a challenge.  She met me at the airport, but there were very few cabs thanks to the flooding.  Here’s a couple of photos, but they’re not good.  I didn’t have the right camera for these shots…

So, it’s been a week of beauty treatments and last minute wedding preparations.  I’ve been waxed, coiffed, exfoliated, tanned and manicured.  That’s more in a week than I normally do in a year!

After today’s manicure we had to walk across town to pick up the hire car for tomorrow.  I took the opportunity to take a few happy snaps, but unfortunately I only had my iPhone with me, so again, not the right camera…  But they seem to have turned out okay.

Centrepoint Tower:

St Mary’s Cathedral:

Tomorrow we head for the Hunter Valley.  And then Sunday is the big day!

counting down…

Posted in General, Infertility on 12 February, 2010 by juniper76

Three hours to go.  In three hours I’m supposed to be on a plane, taking off and on my way to Sydney for the last mad week leading up to my sister’s wedding.

Unfortunately, this means that DH and I will be separated by 1,000 km  on Valentine’s Day.  :(

Thankfully, it looks like I may finally have O’d yesterday!  I was starting to think this would be my first annovulatory cycle since I started charting or that it would happen when DH and I were in different states.

I can’t wait for this wedding to be over!  I swear I’ve had to deal with more stress and fuss than for my own wedding!

DH is driving down next weekend to meet me for the wedding and we’re going to drive home together afterwards.  I’ve decided we should take a leisurely 3 days to get home and stop to do some sightseeing along the way.  Thankfully, my manager at work was okay with a last minute extension to my leave to accommodate that plan.  :)

Just counting down until it’s time to go…

a new year, a new doctor…

Posted in Infertility on 7 February, 2010 by juniper76

We started seeing our old FS in February 2008.  When we finally saw him in the last week of January to follow up on our disastrous fourth IVF cycle, he confessed he was out of ideas for us and referred us to another FS in the clinic.  The Dr he referred us to is the Clinical Director and chairperson (or similar) for a lot of professional bodies, so I was expecting a long wait to see him.  The new Dr’s office is just down the hall from our old Dr, so we stopped in to make the appointment on the way out.  I couldn’t believe our luck when the receptionist said they’d just had a cancellation and we could see him the following Monday!

So, bright and early on the first day of February, we met our new FS!  If I had to sum up the whole appointment in one word, it would be “confident”.  He was very confident that he could help us.  He also said numerous times through the (not that long) appointment that he believes it is “highly probable” that I have endometriosis, which could explain our IF and even our unsuccessful IVF cycles.

After a quick pelvic exam (isn’t that always fun?), I was booked in for a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy on the 10th of March to investigate and (if found) remove endometriosis.

Godparents!

Posted in General on 7 February, 2010 by juniper76

Two weeks ago, DH and I were honoured to become godparents for the first time.  Our friends’ identical twins were born on our wedding anniversary last year (hard to forget that date!) and we couldn’t be happier to be godparents to one of those beautiful girls!

Our god-daughter is on the right.

Since we were participating in the ceremony (I was even holding our god-daughter’s sister for the third annointment because their 2yo brother needed their mother’s attention), I only took a few scenery shots.

The baptism was at St Stephen’s Cathedral in Brisbane’s CBD.

it’s raining, it’s pouring…

Posted in General, Infertility on 7 February, 2010 by juniper76

It started raining last night; I know because the thunder woke me up…  Actually, the thunder is still going, intermittently.  A quick peek out the kitchen door showed the usual flooding we get during heavy rain:

I’ve been meaning to write a new post for a while now; in fact there’s three different things I’ve been wanting to write about.  I’m going to tackle them in the order they happened and split them over 3 posts.

So, first cab off the rank: a couple of weeks ago (yes, it’s been that long) I had my annual performance review at work.  I’ve been with my current employer for 7.5 years, so my regional manager and I have been through a few of these together.  The thing is, I tend to take personal criticism, … well… personally.  I don’t think we’ve done one of these yet when I haven’t needed a tissue (or 10).  So, last year, my RM made a passing comment at the end of my review along the lines of, “as an unofficial KPI, lets see if we can get through the next review without tears”.  It’s not like I walk in to each of these reviews wanting to get upset, but that doesn’t stop it happening…

Anyway, this time I was doing so well!  We’d talked through all the IVF and miscarriage stuff that had happened in 2009.  I was quite indignant when I got below “acceptable” on the “goes the extra mile” question and felt obliged to point out that I worked 50 hour weeks while I was grieving for my miscarriage.  Honestly, if that’s not going the extra mile, what is?  He said he had marked me down because of all the work I’d missed earlier in the year.  I still hoped I made him feel bad about that score though…

We were doing so well (not even a hint of emotion), right up until the section that asked about goals.  The problem is that, for the last 3 years, the single most important goal in my life has remained elusively unachievable.  And after 3 years of wanting something so badly, only to be denied at every turn, I have a very hard time wanting anything for fear of denial.  To make things worse, for the last two reviews I had asked to attend the annual Australian conference for our field of work.  In both reviews I was told I could go, but, by the time the conference rolled around, I was told I couldn’t attend.  I didn’t even bother asking this year.

So, we spent about 15 mins working out what to put as my short-term goal(s).  In the end it was something weak like “continue to increase my knowledge/skills”.  But it was at the next question about long-term goals that everything fell apart.  My official response (before he even read out the question) was “don’t even ask”.  I actually said that.  And then the RM sabotaged that unofficial KPI.  He asked if I wanted to put “part-time work-at-home mum” down as a long-term goal.

I just burst into tears.

He apologised profusely, saying he hadn’t meant it to be an emotive question.  Really?  Hadn’t meant it to be emotive?  If everything had gone to plan, I’d have been doing that for the last two years and you want to put it down as a long-term goal?  It’s a past (unachieved) goal!  And just imagine what it will be like if we’re sitting here again next year, reviewing what we had put in this review and that goal is still unrealised?!  Yes, let’s sabotage next year’s review too, while we’re at it!  My poor group manager (I have two managers in my reviews because of my “special needs”; the RM doesn’t sit in for most people) was at a loss and pretty much said nothing other than asking if I wanted to take a break before continuing.  Not long after I was ready to continue (it took a while) the RM excused himself and let the group manager finish the review on his own…

The worst part is that, with my complexion, my face stays red a long time after crying.  I manged to get back to my office without anyone seeing, but then someone came in to ask me a question and ended up asking if I was alright instead.  Thankfully he was the only one and, since it was mid-afternoon, I scarpered at the first opportunity…