0, the not-so-lucky number…

This will be short.

We were supposed to have our transfer this morning.  When I called the embryologist at 7am I was told that 4 of our embies had started to turn brown (ie dying) and the other two hadn’t grown since day 3.  In her opinion they had ZERO chance of success, so our transfer was cancelled.

I didn’t go to my work Christmas party this afternoon.  This Christmas feels like a non-event anyway (DH won’t even put up the tree).  I have no decorations at home, no decorations at work.  DH won’t let me play carols and won’t drive around with me looking at the Christmas lights.  All the good parts are gone…  All that is left is the pressure to buy just the right presents in very little time and at over-crowded shopping centres that I hate at the best of times.  And heaven help me if I don’t meet someone’s budgetary expectations for their gift(s)!!  Worst of all, instead of having the time to do the Christmas cooking I love so much, we will probably have no food in the house at all because grocery shopping is the last thing on our minds right now.  I mean, who has time to shop for themselves when there’s still presents to buy?

Quite frankly, call me Scrooge and cancel Christmas!

And bah humbug to all the “wasn’t 2009 a great year” posts on Facebook!  Worst.  Year.  Ever.

Oh, yeah, and our favourite Aunt (Flo) will almost certainly be here to make Christmas all the more fun…

I guess this post wasn’t that short.  I might have some anger issues to deal with…

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3 Responses to “0, the not-so-lucky number…”

  1. I’m so sorry to read about your news. IF is such a stressful and sad thing to go through. I hope you don’t mind but I added you to my blogroll – feel free to check out mine too. Good luck with everything and I really hope that you get PG soon…in the meantime vent, cry, yell, scream…do what ever you need to do to through it.

    -21reena

  2. Jen,

    I am so very sorry to hear this. I know no words can make you feel any better but know that I am here for you praying and hoping you can find some peace as this year ends. I’m hoping that 2010 will be a turning point for you and your DH. ((((((Hugs)))))

    Michelle

  3. I am so sorry to hear about the IVF cancellation. I cannot even imagine how you are feeling, especially at Christmastime. I am sending you lots of big hugs. I hope & pray that 2010 will bring wonderful things for you guys and that the shopping mall time you will be logging in the next few days is bearable…..it really is sad how this season turns into such a stressful time & how people can be so critical of the gifts you get them. So sad. Isn’t it the thought that counts, not the dollar amount?!

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