Archive for July, 2009

update…

Posted in General, Infertility on 28 July, 2009 by juniper76

I realise my postings have become fewer and further between.  The reason is that there’s really nothing going on in my life right now.  I finally seem to have gone almost 2 weeks without being sick (yay!!), work is busy but normal (yay again!) and IVF is on hold for a yet-to-be-determined period.  I said I wanted normal, and I seem to have found it.  It just doesn’t make for interesting blogging…

One thing which I did mention last week – I tried acupuncture for the first time ever on Saturday.  The verdict?  It was fine.  I can’t say I’d be rushing back purely for enjoyment, but neither would I run screaming in the other direction in terror.  So long as I think it might help I’ll keep it up.

The biggest outcome of the visit was her recommending a 6 week detox program.  DH is keen to try it in spite of the effort that will be required.  The program doesn’t even allow you to microwave vegetables!  There’s going to be a lot of preparation required to be able to cook 6 week’s worth of meals from scratch.  And somehow you’re supposed to nosh your way through 4 cups of veges PLUS 3 cups of salad!  WTF!!  I’m a big girl and I just don’t eat that much!  That’s 14 cups of salad & veges to cut up every day (for the two of us)!  That’s 14 cups of salad & veges to BUY for each day!  Seriously, WTF!!

Anyway, we go back to acupuncture on Saturday (she wants me to go once per week until our next IVF) so I’ll know what we’re doing then…  But if there’s a chance it can help us attain that elusive BFP, we’re probably in like Flynn…

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Dear Uterus,

Posted in Infertility on 23 July, 2009 by juniper76

Dear Uterus,

I have a bone to pick with you.  For the last 31 months I have done everything in my power to get you to do the job for which you are designed.  At this stage I must draw the conclusion that you are having difficulty with some of the more complex concepts – implantation, gestation, etc.

Now, I’m not unreasonable.  If you need time to learn, then so be it.  But in the meantime, do you think you could ease up on the menstrual cramps?  Just because you failed again last cycle there is no reason to punish me.  Every cycle I give you two weeks to try to create life and in return, when you give up and shed your lining, you lash out at me with crippling pain.  After all these cycles it’s just wearing a little thin.

Please consider my request.  I don’t think it’s unreasonable.

Regards,

juniper

home!

Posted in General, Infertility on 21 July, 2009 by juniper76

I’m home!  And I’m please to report my forecasts were wrong on all counts!  The weather was lovely (for winter).  The sun was shining, there was little or no wind – all was good.  And there were no tears either!  Don’t get me wrong, I still felt like a hippo, just not an emotional hippo.

So, I’ve decided to try the soup which is part of the diet my mother gave me.  I’m not going to do the diet per se, I’m just going to try the soup and see if it’s a nice winter meal.  And we’ll see how we go from there…

Oh, and the big news?  I’m starting acupuncture on Saturday!  Eek!  But more on that after it happens…

and the forecast is…

Posted in General on 16 July, 2009 by juniper76

…cold!  I’m heading to Sydney for the weekend and the forecast is:

Forecast for Friday
Chance coastal shower. Partly cloudy. Moderate south to southwest fresh at times near the coast.
Precis: Mostly fine. Partly cloudy.

City:         Min:   8 Max:  16   Parramatta: Min:   6 Max:  16
Terrey Hills: Min:   7 Max:  15   Penrith:    Min:   5 Max:  16
Liverpool:    Min:   4 Max:  17   Richmond:   Min:   3 Max:  16 

UV Alert: Nil , UV Index predicted to reach 2 [Low]

Saturday Fine.

City:          Min:    7  Max:   17
West:          Min:    1  Max:   17 

Sunday Fine.

City:          Min:    7  Max:   17
West:          Min:    1  Max:   18 

Monday Fine.

City:          Min:    7  Max:   20
West:          Min:    3  Max:   20

Now, my sister lives in the western suburbs, but in the inner west, so I’m hoping it’ll be more like the city weather overnight.  Then again, the spare room in her house is always cold, even in summer.  Maybe I’ll pack a heater?

My other forecast is for Saturday.  The reason I’m going down is to go bridesmaid dress shopping with my sister.  She’s getting married next year and I’m her matron of honour.  The catch?  I’m a “plus-size” kinda gal.  Now, I’m not as wide as I am tall.  That would be scary since I’m 5’8″!  But there’s no hiding that I am very overweight.  So my forecast for Saturday is tears.  Hopefully not a full blown meltdown in the shop, but I already feel quite depressed about the whole thing.  My sister has been very frustrated by me not wanting to go on this expedition, but, being the skinny rake she is, she doesn’t realise how truly horrifying it is!

I’ve put on a heap of weight with all the IVF and fertility drugs so lately I’ve been feeling particularly large.  Which is why I’ve been trying to be good.  Not a crash diet, something more sustainable.  The problem with that is that it is also slower.  My mum gave me a diet (which they apparently give to cardiac patients at some hospital) which claims you’ll lose 5-7kg in a week.  Now, everything I’ve ever read says that any more than 2kg in a week is unhealthy.  And yet I find myself sorely tempted.  The only thing stopping me is the fear that it will actually make me put more weight after stopping.  This isn’t a diet you can keep doing.  But I want to lose 40kg – imagine doing it in 6-8 weeks instead of 12 months!

What to do?  What to do?

Oops, the dryer’s finished.  Time to pack.

hiatus…

Posted in General, Infertility on 13 July, 2009 by juniper76

Sorry, it’s been a while.  I thought about posting a couple of times last week but just needed some breathing space.  Not for blogging, more for life in general.  Or the challenges of life, to be more precise.

This is going to sound very repetitive, but I’ve been sick again.  Just the same sort of general malaise I’ve had most of the last two months – headache, fatigue, etc – but with a sore throat thrown in for good measure, probably due to a nasal drip.  So I finally bit the bullet and went to see a GP about it on Friday.  Her verdict – I’m run down after doing the IVF and need to just take it easy and tough it out.  The only thing she was concerned about was a mucus-y thing I’ve got going on with my nose – she said to make sure it didn’t get blocked up and develop into a sinus infection.  So the prescription was an OTC mucolytic and early nights.  Yay.

Unfortunately, this puts me in a position where I really should delay jumping back onto the IVF roller coaster.  I’m tired and run down.  My immune system seems to be completely out of whack.  I need to give my body a break from the drugs, hormones and surgeries until it’s recovered.  All I can do is wait until I’m better.

I hate waiting.

I can feel the pain already…

Posted in General on 5 July, 2009 by juniper76

It’s 11pm so this will be quick.  We finally caught up with our friends after their 9 week trip to Europe.  They had some great stories and it was amazing how some of their experiences were the complete opposite of ours.  For example, they had huge dramas at the London Eye and left very unhappy, whilst we got there mere minutes before our booked tour (you’re meant to be there half an hour before but we had tube problems) and the staff were fantastic about getting us in at the very last minute.  We barely scratched the surface on their photos so I’m looking forward to another visit to see the rest.  We just spent too much time talking and cooking, then eating, dinner before we got started on the photos so we ran out of time.

Anyway, we’ve got our car booked in for a service tomorrow.  And we’ve got to get it there (a good 20-30 minutes away, possibly more if the traffic’s bad) by 6.45am.  And it’s been cold last night and tonight – 6°C last night (that’s cold for here, we don’t get snow) – so I’m doubly not looking forward to the early morning!

Ok, need to finish my water then off to bed…

insomnia sucks…

Posted in General on 3 July, 2009 by juniper76

I’ve been holding off posting an update on the response from my manager at work because another, related, issue has cropped up and I wanted to see what he said about that first.  But looks like I may not get to talk to him about it until Monday.  So, you’ll just have to wait.

I’m not going to broach the subject with him today since I’m sleep deprived.  Stupid insomnia.  I went to bed at 11pm last night and finally got to sleep somewhere around 4am.  Only to then be woken by the alarm at 7am.  That’s 5 seemingly endless dark hours of staring at the insides of my eyelids.  5 endlessly frustrating hours of feeling totally exhausted but not in the least bit sleepy.  Grrrr.  I haven’t slept well all week (no-one warned me pseudoephedrine could cause sleeplessness; on the contrary, I was warned the night tablets may cause drowsiness), but had hoped to turn that around since yesterday was the first day after finishing the cold and flu tablets.

So, while DH got up at 7am and toddled off to work for his half-day Friday, I decided to try and get some more sleep and then take the afternoon shift (ie I’ll drive myself to work once he brings the car home at lunchtime).  Sadly, I had some trouble getting back to sleep, but I did sneak in maybe another 2 hours.  That’ll have to do to get me through to the end of the day.  I’ll have to make up this morning’s hours over the weekend.  Or maybe tonight?

Bah, that’s all I’m writing.  No sleep = no brain power.  Can’t think.  Can’t write.  Going to shower, then going to work.